


Afterparty of Two (Better Than Being Alone)

by i_amthecosmos



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Drug Abuse, M/M, Recreational Drug Use
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-02
Updated: 2014-03-02
Packaged: 2018-01-14 08:09:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,249
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1259131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/i_amthecosmos/pseuds/i_amthecosmos
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Zayn and Louis after the Brits.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Afterparty of Two (Better Than Being Alone)

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this after seeing [this gifset](http://19soundofsirens86.tumblr.com/post/77281223773/cocaine) of Louis and once I saw him rubbing his nose and sniffing, I couldn't un-see it. I'm so sorry.

“So.” Zayn was hunched over, packing the pipe. Louis was sprawled over the couch, watching him, the way his back curved. Zayn had looked the best of them that night at the Brits, but that’s what he did, after all. Not that he noticed. 

“So, what? You mean, so, we got another bloody award?” Zayn only laughed and that made him smile as well. Zayn had that effect on people. Louis didn’t even want to smile, but he did anyway. He rubbed his nose. It stung, just a little. 

“I guess so mate. Glad you came back with me.” Zayn handed the pipe and the lighter to him and Louis took a long drag. The pot was good-Zayn got the best-and it filled his lungs with acrid smoke and calmed his nerves, . “Thanks,” he said, and coughed. “I needed that.”

“Yeah,” Zayn said, giving him a hard look. Louis rubbed his nose again, and then thought about it and dropped his hand. “Louis…”

“Fuck off.” He struggled to sit up, glaring at Zayn. “Don’t tell me how to live my life. You’re sitting here with me getting fucked up right now. There’s not any difference-“

“There’s a lot of difference.” Louis looked away, tried to block it out when Zayn touched his arm. “You know, it wasn’t hard to tell. I could.”

“You know me though. Tabloids don’t care. Our fans…they see what they want to see. Nobody suspects anything.” Louis stared at the walls, the spray painted comics and figures, and didn’t look over when Zayn squeezed harder.

“Doesn’t matter if they do or don’t, you shouldn’t do this to yourself.” Louis jerked his arm, trying to get Zayn off him, because fuck him, being all understanding and caring. It didn’t matter what he did. Louis was rich, he was famous, he could do whatever he wanted. 

“I know it hurts.” Fuck. Fuck fuck FUCK, Zayn had to bring it up. 

“Shut up.” He finally looked over, and Zayn looked concerned, sincere, and he couldn’t stand it. “I’ll leave, I don’t need to hear this, just leave me alone…” He struggled to get on his feet, but he did it. Now he just had to find the door. 

Zayn’s hand was back on his arm, and this time it wasn’t comforting. “Get back here and sit the fuck down. You’re not going anywhere, and if you do, I’m calling a car. You’re not driving like this.” Louis tried to yank his arm back, but Zayn was up by now, and Louis got a look at Zayn’s eyes. He knew it then, he wasn’t leaving this place without Zayn’s permission. 

Zayn took that moment of distraction and shoved him back on the couch. “Fuck,” Louis said, trying to hold up a token protest, and Zayn straddled him, knees on either side of his thighs, hands on his shoulders, face close to his. “You got me Zayn. Now what?”

Zayn bridged the gap and kissed him, and Louis didn’t fight him off. They’d done this before, Zayn not that good at talking about hard things, and him even worse at it. They kissed for a while, Louis biting at his mouth, trying to take control, and Zayn holding him steady, not letting him.

When they pulled back, Zayn was a little out of breath, staring at him. “Should I be doing this?” he asked, and the question put another stab in Louis’s heart.

“I can’t see why not. According to him we’re in an open relationship.” Louis seriously doubted they were in a relationship at all at this point. “So. If you want to.” Zayn looked like he was considering his options, and then he came back in for another kiss. This time Louis moved his arms and pulled Zayn in. His body was comforting and familiar, and he needed that, if he couldn’t get it from the person he wanted the most. Zayn was a good second best. 

They kissed for a while, then Zayn started getting restless, tugging at his shirt, and Louis just raised his arms and let him take it off. Then he had Zayn’s mouth on his nipples, and he arched into it. Zayn had a really good mouth. “You gonna suck my dick?” He said, his voice straining already. “Is that it, you want to go down on me? I know you like it.” 

“I do like it,” Zayn said, looking up at him and Louis wanted to pinch him, hit him, anything to keep him from looking at him with such fondness. He didn’t deserve it, he didn’t want it. But Zayn didn’t get the message, and so Louis had to shut his eyes to it. “I thought I might fuck you, actually.” His eyes flew back open.

“I didn’t think you did that.” At least, Zayn had never done that with him. He’d been content to save fucking for Perrie, and had never asked for it before. “Are you sure?” He noticed he wasn’t turning Zayn down. What a slag, he couldn’t say no.

“Is it okay with you?” Louis nodded, because of course it was. It was okay, everything was okay. Harry drifting away from him was okay, the drugs he got from his ‘friends’ were okay. Do whatever you want with me, that was his motto now. 

Louis never thought he’d see the day that he’d run out of the energy to fight.

Zayn got off him and Louis pulled his kit off and rolled on his back. It was a huge sofa, wide, and there was plenty of room. Zayn disappeared for a minute, and Louis willed himself to blank his mind, to not think about what was going to happen, and then Zayn was back with lube and condoms. “We can take this back to my room if you want.” Where he fucked Perrie.

Louis shook his head, looking just past Zayn. “Well, all right.” He watched as Zayn got undressed and fuck, his body was truly amazing. He was fit and perfect, and Louis had to look away. Zayn was too much for him. Which is why it was such a great idea to let him fuck his arse. Louis was thinking he was in over his head, and then Zayn pressed the first tentative finger to his opening and he knew he was.

Zayn was careful and slow, unfamiliar, and Louis let him. He could grind up against him, try to make Zayn go faster, to make it hurt a little, but instead he was quiet, letting Zayn learn his body. After a minute, Zayn said “You okay, Lou?” Louis looked up at him and nodded, moving his legs up higher. “Let me know if I do something wrong.” 

“Doing brilliant,” Louis mumbled, and he hated to admit it, but it was true. Zayn’s touch was sparking something in him, desire mostly, but also affection for the kindness Zayn was showing him. He tried to shut the door on that part, but then Zayn slid in another finger and he just whined, and grabbed Zayn’s hair.

“Ow, don’t pull!” Zayn laughed, of all things, which set him off, and they had a good laugh while Zayn moved his fingers around, and then Zayn found his prostate and the laughter died in his throat as he grabbed the sofa for purchase, the pleasure white-hot and driving out everything else.

“Good? Was that good?” Louis couldn’t even answer, he just grabbed for Zayn, getting his shoulder and squeezing hard. “Are you okay?” Louis cleared his throat, and then opened his eyes.

“It’s good, it’s good, you can fuck me if you still want. You can fuck me now.” He wasn’t ready, but he didn’t care, and from the look on Zayn’s face, he could tell that Zayn was unsure. “I can take it, don’t worry about me. Just…go ahead.” He looked up at the ceiling while Zayn pulled his fingers out, and waited as he fumbled with the condom. 

When Zayn started to press in, Louis bit his lip, still staring up. Zayn had painted a monster figure on the ceiling just above his head, and it was something to look at while Zayn nearly split him in two. He knew what he was getting into, Zayn might not have fucked him before but he’d gone down on him, his mouth stretched around Zayn’s huge cock, on bus nights when Zayn was missing Perrie and he needed to get off with someone he could trust. Louis groaned, closing his eyes, and when he opened them again Zayn was settled above him, watching him. 

“Are you okay?” Louis nodded, and Zayn tried to land a clumsy kiss on his cheek. Louis just hooked a leg over Zayn’s hip and he took that as the encouragement it was meant to be and started fucking him slowly. The pain blurred until it was just full, nothing he couldn’t deal with, the possibility of pleasure on the horizon. Louis looked up at Zayn, meeting his eyes, and that got a fond, sweet expression out of him and Louis wished he wouldn’t, he couldn’t take it. 

“It’s alright,” Zayn whispered, and he started fucking him faster, Louis moving into it, hitching his legs higher, until he could hear their bodies slapping together. The look on Zayn’s face was fierce concentration and Louis whined when Zayn pushed into him. “Lou, I’m gonna…” and then Zayn moved two more times and stilled. Louis put a hand on Zayn’s back, rubbing as he pulsed inside him. “Oh.” Zayn moved then and pressed a sweet kiss to Louis’s lips. He closed his eyes, not wanting to see, but he didn’t stop him.

“You’re still hard,” Zayn said when he pulled out and Louis shrugged, wrapping his hand around his cock and pulling it. Zayn leaned between them and they kissed soft and wet until he grunted and came between them. He bit his lip, almost saying Zayn’s name. Luckily he didn’t. But the way Zayn kissed him, he wondered if he didn’t know.

Then they were done and Zayn had to get rid of the condom and Louis got up on shaky legs. He started putting his clothes back on, figuring calling a car wouldn’t be such a bad deal. When Zayn came back he just watched Louis. “Are you leaving?” Louis shrugged. Zayn came over and hugged him. “Want me to call?”

“If you want,” Louis said, and Zayn got his phone while Louis sat in the chair furthest from the couch. He didn’t look over at it, already trying to push it out of his mind. Then Zayn turned back to him and Louis said “Okay, well.”

“It’ll be about fifteen minutes, don’t be a twat,” Zayn said. Then he held out his hand, and Louis glared at him. “Louis.” Louis reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a tiny plastic bag. “That the only one?”

“Cunt,” Louis said, and then got another one and handed them both to Zayn. Zayn went into the bathroom and Louis heard it flush, turning away from Zayn when he came back in. “I don’t know why I gave you those. I’ll just get more.”

“No more tonight,” Zayn said. “I don’t want you to promise me much, but…promise me that.” Zayn came over to him and put his arms around, and Louis didn’t stop him. “Don’t,” he said in Louis’s ear. “Don’t love, don’t hurt yourself over this. It’ll be okay.”

“Don’t know what else to do,” he said, and Zayn pulled back enough to kiss him, not saying anything else until they got a call that the car was outside. Louis walked toward the door and Zayn followed him. “All right, goodnight.”

“Call me tomorrow, or text. Just let me know.” Louis didn’t ask what he wanted to know, but he nodded because he supposed it was fair, just to check in. Even though he was fine. He just had to get through this, is all. Then he was out the door.

When he got home he looked at their (his?) rumpled bed and thought about the brief, hurried kiss Harry had given him before he went to the afterparty. _And then I’m going straight to the plane to L.A., sorry Lou._ Louis grabbed the duvet and dragged it into the living room, curling up in it. It smelled like Harry and he just wanted…he didn’t know what he wanted. It didn’t matter anymore. 

When he woke up, there were two texts from Zayn and one from Harry. He answered them automatically and went to shower. When he got out, there was another message from Zayn, saying _Glad you’re okay, hope you slept well. Call me if you want._ Louis was about to reply when the phone rang. He saw who it was and let it ring twice before deciding to answer it.

“Hey, saw the Brits, well done!” Louis considered hanging up, but he’d already answered. “Hey, do you want me to come over? We can play some video games, and…” he trailed off. “I got some more stuff.” 

_Of course you do_ , Louis wanted to say. Dealers always knew when you were alone, it was what they did. He thought about telling him to fuck off. He thought about Zayn, and how he made him promise. But he only made him promise for last night. Louis looked at the duvet bunched up on the couch.

“Yeah, come on over.”


End file.
